The “R-word”
Today I had the pleasure of watching Baruti Kafele’s video series “Message to Your Son: You Are Not the N-Word.” I have discussed this message with students in the past and when I have the need to have this conversation in the future I will show this video so that the children can see a man of color talking about it. Thankfully, this is not a word that I hear our children using at Valley View Middle school. This is significant because black and brown students comprise about 70% of our population and in my previous schools controlling the use of this word was challenging. Baruti Kafele’s powerful video is worth a watch:
During his message I couldn’t stop thinking about how I have spoken with our students at Valley View Middle School about the “N-word” and another word, the “R-word.” Most recently I was working with a falcon focus group about this word and the impact that it has on me. We each wrote down words or experiences we have had with bullying on a paper rock. Then we crumpled it up. When we tried to flatten it out and make it nice again, the 7th graders couldn’t make the crinkles go away. We talked about how our words make this kind of imprint on our lives. On my rock I wrote the “R-word:” Retarded. I have a sister who was relentlessly called “Retarded” as we grew up. I was even called the “sister of the Retard.” It was painful as a small child to see my big sister made fun of and ostracized. I am not stupid nor the sister of stupid. I know this name-calling hurt my sister and I know that it hurt me. Since I am 7 years younger than my sister, I am sure I don’t even know the half of what happened to her as a result of kids calling her names. The truth is that people don’t know how powerful their words are to those that surround them. Words can be powerfully positive and good and they can be horrendously negative. I choose to use my words to make the world a better place every day. I also remembered a wonderful PSA that I saw a few years ago from the website r-word.org. Check it out: